Day Ten

These two. 

Whew. We are back on our Minnesotan terra firma. The past few days have been busy with wrapping up our program, celebrating Halloween, traveling home and trying to settle back in. Friday was our last day of feeding school in Charlottesville. It was also Halloween, making a little more work for the parents and more fun for Olive. She wanted to put her costume on first thing on Friday morning, and then she was ready for trick or treating. As in, she thought we were going right then and there at 7 in the a.m. We told her it wouldn't be until the afternoon after feeding school, but a time frame of more than five minutes is still lost on her. She rolled into the hotel lobby with her bucket expecting to be filing it up with treats. She then proceeded to ask "What's next? Trick or treating?" throughout the day. Thankfully when we walked into the UVA building the woman at the desk had a basket of candy and stickers so Olive got a taste of the trick or treating life early.

Our first appointment was breakfast with Polly. Olive was so beyond over it by this point. Polly had warned us that most kids are at their limit by Thursday and noticed it with Olive on about Tuesday. It's a lot of work for a young child. In total we had 34 sessions with Polly in 10 days. And by the 32nd, Olive sat down, licked one piece of cereal, and yelled "I all done." It made for a long last day. Olive drank her milk with breakfast as she worked on putting stickers on a ghost with Polly, but she just had no interest in eating.

Following that, Dain headed back to the hotel to pack up all of our stuff and check out. Meanwhile Olive and I played in the play area and then headed to our last preschool class with Crystal. It was a pretty laid back session. Crystal did have a visual schedule for Olive, as we had told her that Jen used that successfully. It really helps a two year old understand what is going to happen by showing them a picture of each activity. It may be something we can implement at home especially on days out of the ordinary to try to alleviate Olive's anxiety about new places. Olive read a book with Crystal, painted mostly all over herself and her clothes, and worked on an alphabet puzzle. Then we ended with a lot of time to wash the dishes at the play kitchen. Crystal gave us some advice for things to work on at home, and she also gave Olive an awesome parting gift letting her keep the fire truck book with wheels that she loved reading and playing with throughout our time there. Crystal told us she couldn't imagine any other kid loving it as much as Olive. It was very sweet.

Showing off her skills.

Dain came back right as we were leaving preschool, and we headed back down for our snack with Polly. It went better than breakfast. There was a student sitting in to observe Polly, and it worked out great because it was like Olive was trying to impress her. Olive ate a few tiny bites of cotton candy, and she did a great job with a spoonful of goat cheese. She also let Polly help her put puff popcorn on her back teeth to bite it. And then she tasted some sweet tarts. She also drank her milk with less of a struggle than usual. Polly gave us the dietician's write up of where we can head from a nutritional standpoint, and we discussed what our plan should be at home. Then we had Olive's final weight check. She rang in at 10.5 kilos. So up from her last weight and from when we arrived. We'll take it.

The moon swing.

After a quick coffee run it was time to see the occupational therapist Ms. Jen for the last time. Olive put her costume back on to show her, and they had a time of it. They did a new swing called a moon swing where she would swing and then crash into a bean bag, and then she jumped onto a trampoline into the bean bag. Squeals of delight coming from our short stack. After that fun, they did a ghost craft and practiced scissors again. Olive finally got it for a few snips with a little help. Olive got to pick their final activity together, and she chose to play with Mr. Potato Head again.

After we said our goodbyes to Jen, we grabbed lunch on our own. Olive ordered herself a pickle, but it was a struggle to get her to eat anything or even drink her milk. It wasn't enjoyable for anyone and ended in me taking Olive outside before I was done eating while Dain hurriedly paid the check. The perils of ordering a salad. Not easy to shove in your mouth. We headed back to the day suite for a much needed nap for Olive. She fell asleep in about 30 seconds. After she woke up, we went to the play area for our last time. Patty gave Olive her last book, and we sat down to read it. Then she ran to play and another mom came to sit next to me. We had seen her the previous week with her daughter who looked to be about five or six. She wanted to tell me that she did the feeding program with her daughter, and she wanted me to know that it gets better. At that point I was so exhausted from our experience that I almost burst into tears. I managed to hold it together, but I was really just so touched that she took the time to come over and tell me that. Of course logically I know that it does get better, but when you are fully immersed it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Ready to go.

We ended the program with one last snack with Polly. Olive took the world's tiniest taste of barbecue sauce and dropped the mic. Seriously. That was it. Polly didn't push her, realizing she was just totally exhausted. We talked with Polly while Olive played with books and drank her milk. Even Polly agreed that there would be no way to keep up with the feeding school schedule at home and that we will have to figure out what works best for us.  The feeding/eating/hydrating schedule over the past two weeks was a beast. As an example, here's what one day looked like:

 6:55 a.m. Tube 45 ml water while Olive sleeps
 7:15 a.m. Tube 60 ml breakfast blend as Olive along with half dose of medicine
 8:00 a.m. Breakfast at the table (tastes and 3 ounces of milk orally)
10:00 a.m. Snack at the table tastes and 3 ounces of milk orally)
12:00 p.m. Lunch at the table (tastes and 3 ounces of milk orally)
 1:15 p.m. Offer Olive a bottle before nap (2-3 ounces of milk orally)
 3:00 p.m. Snack at the table (tastes and 3 ounces of milk orally)
 4:00 p.m. Tube water (2 ounces)
 4:30 p.m. Tube lunch blend (2-3 ounces)
 6:00 p.m. Offer Olive milk and encourage her to drink it (2-5 ounces milk orally)
 7:30 p.m. Dinner at the table (tastes and 3 ounces of milk orally)
 8:30 p.m. Tube 5 ounces dinner blend
11:00 p.m. Tube additional water or milk or blend to make up for any calorie deficit

We all felt like this by Friday.

So that is 13 different steps in one day. This explains why I often feel like I can't even sit down and catch my breath for a minute. It is an insane schedule, and there is little room for deviation without sacrificing calories in. It is most likely unsustainable at home as it leaves very little time to do anything else. So our biggest struggle now will be balancing allowing Olive to feel hungry and work on her oral skills while not sacrificing her nutrition or growth. It is not an easy feat, but if I've learned anything raising Olive it's that you do what you have to do. It's completely irrelevant whether you think you can because you don't have a choice. You power through, and it does get better. You adapt. This is the way to teach our peanut to eat, and my hope is that in three years we will look back on this as a blurry memory, the edges softening over time as the struggle fades away. I need a few days to let our experience marinate in my mind before I decide my final thoughts on it, but it was bittersweet to walk out of that building on Friday night.

Our pumpkin.

After we said our goodbyes to Polly and Patty, we changed Olive into her pumpkin costume to finally get those treats. UVA holds a trick or treating on the lawn event from 4-6 where kids can go door to door at Thomas Jefferson's academic village, which is now student housing. It was insanity. Thousands of people. We waited in a long line with our grumpy pumpkin, and we hit about six doors before calling it a day. She was happy with her bucket of treats and ecstatic to get back in the car knowing that we were beginning our trip home. We drove to Richmond for our last night in a hotel by the airport. Dain returned the car. Olive and I printed our boarding passes and began to sort through all of our stuff. We repacked all of our bags trying to get each one under fifty pounds. We ate dinner on our hotel bed, and Olive crashed. We wanted to too, but we had to tube more food after Olive fell asleep, do the dishes, and organize everything for an early and quick getaway.

Airport tube feeding.

The morning came early, but we were all happy to be heading home. We were up before six, and we somehow managed to make it on the 6:30 hotel shuttle to the airport with three large suitcases, a carseat, a stroller, two backpacks, a ladybug bag, a cooler bag, my purse, and a worn out toddler trying to rally her excitement for all of the transportation the day would hold. Thankfully it was a smooth travel day. Our bags were all underweight by a few pounds. Security was a breeze. They didn't even examine our medical liquids as had happened in Minneapolis. We sat and watched planes out the window while Olive drank milk, and we tubed her breakfast blend. Olive was well behaved on the plane, fighting off her exhaustion. She wouldn't give in to the sleep. At about 10 a.m. she looked over and asked me if it was almost bedtime. Poor girl. We landed shortly thereafter, and she perked up for the moving walkway and tram at MSP. Dain's parents drove us to our house. Olive came in with the biggest smile on her face. Home.

Happy to be heading home.

We cranked the heat to bring it up from a balmy 55 degrees. Olive snuggled with a big blanket on the couch drinking milk while we began to tackle the unpacking process. We gave up at some point opting for a much needed nap instead. Olive was asleep around noon and slept solid for three hours. I was unable to resist her demand of "Mommy fweep with you in mommy bed." We both napped in the big bed, Olive letting out a sigh of peace as she fell asleep. It's good to be home. We walked to the grocery store later in the afternoon so happy to be able to travel by foot again even if it is in much crisper air than we are used to. Then our neighbor delivered a gift from all the neighbors for Olive and us. It was so sweet. Clearly someone has been reading the blog because Olive received "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and an awesome set of duplos. Our neighbors also very kindly gave us a grocery store gift card and raked our leaves for us. We are really touched by all of the love.

The bite that did her in.

Now we are busy trying to figure out this new eating/tubing schedule on our own. Yeterday was mostly a bust. It's nearly impossible to sit down and work on eating while traveling and when Olive is worn out. We did more tubing than we have been doing. Dain is super optimistic about it all so he brings the family morale up. I'm more of a realist about it, but we both agree that she will get there in her own time. We had high hopes for dinner last night trying to model all the things Polly taught us. Olive took a big bite of a cracker. Too big. She gagged and threw up all of the milk that we had just spent twenty minutes encouraging her to drink. Then Dain knocked over his freshly poured celebratory cocktail. The dinner table was a nice mix of vodka, lemonade, and vomit. We took a deep breath and welcomed ourselves home.